My first born Daniel ~ Dude #1 ~ AKA Danielson

Daniel was born 10/12/95 via c-section. I was a little more then a week over due and very tired having gained 58 lbs. He was called a "floater" by my doctor. To big to drop and engage so a vaginal delivery wasnt an option. I had driven 2 hours for this appointment. My husband was transferred when I was 8 months pregnant and I just didnt want to change doctors. My doctor didnt feel it safe for hubby and I to drive home to prepare for my section so he scheduled it 2 hours later. I later understood why, my water broke as I was being prepped and the funny feeling I was having was early labor, lol. He was a healthy 9 lbs 13.5 oz. A BIG boy! When my doc delivered him his exact words were "Here is your hot fudge sundae!" (My favorite food while pregnant, lol.) We would remain in the hospital for 6 days because Daniel was very jaundice and needed light therapy prior to going home.

Back in '95 there was no such thing as the internet, one of the BIGGEST resources now available to moms today. If I had a question or concern the only people I could turn to were my close family & friends, my doctor of course too and ironically the Oprah Show or TV, lol. Books and magazine articles were also resources I could reference for advice. I lived 3 hours from my family so most contact with them was via the phone. Calling family and friends in the spur of the moment when I didnt know what to do was often difficult since many worked full time and cell phones were for the most part non-existant so sending a quick text was also not an option. My time to reach them was pretty limited. Without the internet reaching out for help with an instant message or email just wasnt an option. I spent many days feeling alone and overwelmed with few people to talk or turn to. Looking back I dont know how I survived... no wonder I felt so worn out by the time the sun set. I had this most beautiful precious little person to care for. Often he was smiling and gazing at me. Even more often though he was crying because I was trying to put him down so I could accomplish other tasks that needed to be done.

In those moments of dispair when I just didnt know what to do, I'd curl up on the couch with my little man and we'd snuggle close ....perhaps we'd both fall asleep (I'd secretly hope for).

That was the only way my little Daniel would sleep. Either curled up so cute and cozy in my arms or proud daddy's arms. Needless to say our nights were very long and tiresome.

As a new mother my world was turned upside down, inside out and backwards (I would later learn I suffered from a mild case of Post Partum Depression). I had a very limited palette of resources. No first hand experience as a mother, only what little I knew as an Aunt and baby sitter. It was just me and my sweet baby boy and 4 walls 40 hours a week as daddy worked. My days as a mom would be approached with alot of trials filled with many accomplishments and many errors.